Articles to show partners that don't think they're cheating Jan 27, 2017 4:48:21 GMT
Post by chinadoll17 on Jan 27, 2017 4:48:21 GMT
Thank you ladies for your kind interest and advice. It's good to know there are others who know the pain. I feel for you going through this too. There is more bizarre behaviour. He comes to stay with me a few nights at a time, but this is getting less and less often. We have a date night every week, usually, we go for a meal or maybe the cinema. (He always holds my hand in the cinema). When we get back here he used to want to make love but now just puts the TV on. We see one another an extra night if we go to a country music show, we are both fans of this. He used to be a drummer in a country band for years. So I see him once a week mostly or maybe twice. In between we talk on the phone. However this very regimented. He gives me 3 rings when he is ready to talk and I have to ring him back. We both are on a package where we get an hour free. When the hour is up that is it. You can ring off and ring back to start again for free, but even if we are in the middle of something, he doesn't like me to do that, he doesn't want to talk any longer. He usually rings about midnight, he can't be ready before that, I've asked and asked him not to be so late, but it soon creeps back to that. When we go out he is always an hour or 2 late arriving. Even if something is booked he will be late. No explanation. I was ill the other week and he came to see me once. He arrived at 11pm and stayed till 3 am. He said he was dry and asked me to make him a cup of tea. I thought to myself I am ill, it would be nice if you made me a cup of tea. He never makes me a cup of tea, only at his house, that has only been a few times in 3 years. He won't even change a light bulb for me now. It must sound like I am always complaining about him, there are some good things of course. I must do things that annoy him but if I ask him he doesn't say much. Before we married we could talk about anything, but now it is very difficult to have a personal conversation with him, he either gets grumpy or changes the subject. There were some disturbing things in the past. I found out after we married that he was writing to russian 'women', I think they are men, as it is usually a scam but he didn't know that. This was still going on while he was seeing me. He used to call them his 'special angel' something he always called me. Since I challenged him this he has never called me that again. He went back to the little boy thing, saying writing to them was like a little boy playing with his toys, and he didn't want to put them away. This went back a long way as I discovered he had been writing to them while he was with his previous lady friend of 5 years. I have never heard of a marriage quite like this. My son has been saying for some time it is not a marriage. My son is 47 and happily married with 3 children. My daughter is 42 and is divorced. She had some similar issues with her husband, no porn but a lot of neglect. He used to ignore her and she ended with him not looking at her naked, so she understands. In the end he said he just liked to know she was there and that was all. Anyway they are both mature adults and I can discuss these things with them. They both believe he has an issue with porn and doesn't treat me right. I will look into some kind of counselling as this is all so stressful and upsetting. I am not sleeping well at all, with all this buzzing round in my head and trying to make sense of it.