Post by AnonymousAnnaXOXO on Jan 22, 2017 16:58:29 GMT
These questions have helped me and my partner communicate about the addiction and recovery and the effects.
The questions are:
1. What has it been like for you to have the sacred trust you placed in me betrayed by my choices?
2. How do you experience your days differently now than before the discovery of my behavior?
3.What ongoing events or activities trigger painful feelings for you? How often do these experiences occur?
4. How have my choices impacted your beliefs and feelings about intimacy in our relationship? What boundaries would you like to establish or change about intimacy?
5. What fears do you currently have about me or our relationship? When are these fears more intense? Less intense? What helps reduce your fear? How do you physically experience fear (for example, bodily sensations, headaches, tension, restlessness, and so on)?
6. What things need to change in order for you to feel like you could begin to start trusting me again?
7. What aspects of my behavior are most offensive and painful for you?
8. What aspects of this problem am I closed about? How do I shut you down from expressing your feelings? What is one thing I can do differently to help improve our discussions about difficult topics?
9. To what extent do you feel trapped because of my choices? How can I help you feel like you have more options and choices?
10. What impacts have my choices had on spirituality in our home or in our relationship?
11. As I work toward restoring trust in our relationship, what are some specific things I will need to pay attention to? What things can I change that would give you some hope?
12. What do you see as being the most important priority for our relationship at this time?
13. In all that has happened what has been the most painful aspect of your experience?
14.What do you need most right now in our relationship?
So what me and my partner do is set time once or twice a week to talk about the addiction and recovery. We set about an hour or two aside to discuss this. We have reminders on our phones so we do actually sit down to talk. Usually I answer first, then my partner responds. Then I have him answer the question and I respond. This usually gets us to talk, and it seg-ways into other things that needed to be discussed.
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The questions are:
1. What has it been like for you to have the sacred trust you placed in me betrayed by my choices?
2. How do you experience your days differently now than before the discovery of my behavior?
3.What ongoing events or activities trigger painful feelings for you? How often do these experiences occur?
4. How have my choices impacted your beliefs and feelings about intimacy in our relationship? What boundaries would you like to establish or change about intimacy?
5. What fears do you currently have about me or our relationship? When are these fears more intense? Less intense? What helps reduce your fear? How do you physically experience fear (for example, bodily sensations, headaches, tension, restlessness, and so on)?
6. What things need to change in order for you to feel like you could begin to start trusting me again?
7. What aspects of my behavior are most offensive and painful for you?
8. What aspects of this problem am I closed about? How do I shut you down from expressing your feelings? What is one thing I can do differently to help improve our discussions about difficult topics?
9. To what extent do you feel trapped because of my choices? How can I help you feel like you have more options and choices?
10. What impacts have my choices had on spirituality in our home or in our relationship?
11. As I work toward restoring trust in our relationship, what are some specific things I will need to pay attention to? What things can I change that would give you some hope?
12. What do you see as being the most important priority for our relationship at this time?
13. In all that has happened what has been the most painful aspect of your experience?
14.What do you need most right now in our relationship?
So what me and my partner do is set time once or twice a week to talk about the addiction and recovery. We set about an hour or two aside to discuss this. We have reminders on our phones so we do actually sit down to talk. Usually I answer first, then my partner responds. Then I have him answer the question and I respond. This usually gets us to talk, and it seg-ways into other things that needed to be discussed.
Modify message